Hello Again

Wow, so many things have taken place since I was last here.

Autumn turned 10 years old! Man oh Man. I still remember that sweet little face when I held her for the first time and thinking that time would go quickly and it really has. I'm really proud of the young lady she is becoming!

School is back in full swing and Rand LOVES it!!! Autumn and Breanna have loved it for a long time but Rand hasn't and it makes it so much easier to have him excited about going! He's in a wonderful Kindergarten Readiness program for children who turned 5 in June, July, August or September and has a wonderful teacher.

I (along with a good friend and her daughter) took the girls to their first concert! They couldn't have been more excited!! Now I don't have to hear "We've never been to a concert before" anymore! We saw the Jonas Brothers and even though we were in the nosebleeds, it was a great time.

My oldest nephew graduated Army Basic Training and then a month later graduated Airborne school. He is about to leave for Germany at the end of the month!

I am enjoying some time to myself with everyone in school and have begun a workout routine that I do each day that they are in school. I've already seen positive changes in blood pressure and I'm hoping to see positive changes in my clothes getting too big for me soon!

Fall is in the air (Finally) and since it's my favorite season of the year, I'm really excited to see its arrival. I burn candles a little more and enjoy being outside more and I miss Jenna a little more. It was about this time 3 years ago that she went to the hospital and soon got the diagnosis that she again had cancer.

I will post some pictures below as soon as I'm on my laptop again. I guess that's it for this post!

Happy Birthday Rand

The Big Man is 5 years old!! He can hardly believe it and neither can we!! I still have vivid memories of the days surrounding his birth. He is not happy that he was the last one to be born in our family and he is not happy that he is the smallest. Hopefully that last one will change in time!

Autumn and Breanna were really patient and kind with him most of the day so that was his best present :) But it was definitely a SpongeBob kind of day! And a day of Chuck E. Cheese too.

All in all it was a great day. We love you little Buddy!

Happenings

It's been busy since I last checked in. The girls have had girl scout meetings and functions, choir rehearsals and performances, and lots and lots of homework.

We also had what I refer to as "The Month of the Sickies". It was an unpleasant time where the sickies were passed back and forth within our home. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like being sick or having the kids sick so this was an especially trying time. Thank the Lord everyone is well now!

We had animal sadness. For about 6 months, I've known that our oldest kitty "Sable" just wasn't as spunky as he used to be and was getting less and less spunky. He was 18-1/2 and I was preparing the kids for the fact that if he didn't pass on his own soon, we were going to have to take him to the Vet and have him put to sleep. This wasn't very popular and so I was trying to wait. The day before Good Friday, he seemed to be on his very last leg but didn't seem to be in pain. We thought he would pass in the night, but he didn't and was really bad off the next day "Good Friday". I called the vet and made an appointment.

Chandra sweet as she is came by and picked up Breanna and Rand to rescue them from the sad house of pain and animal yelling that was our home and took them to a playdate. Autumn wanted to stick it out and make the final trip with Sable. Dan came home and loaded Sable up and we went to the vet. When we got there and the procedure was started, it was sad but I was relieved when I knew he wasn't suffering anymore, and it was very quick. He was very ready to go.

We went straight from the Vet to McDonald's and ate a quick lunch and I mentioned when we came out that it looked like it was going to storm. They had mentioned around 3am when I was up with an earlier round of storms that it might storm in the evening but I didn't think 12:15ish was evening.

As soon as we got home, Dan took off for work and I turned on the TV and was greeted by Radar with rotation over our town and the town that Chandra and the kids were in. I called Dan to tell him and he had to get off the phone because the car was hydroplaning.

He went across the spot where the tornado crossed the interstate just minutes before it hit.

Chandra and Meredith at the playdate saw a tornado from Meredith's front porch and they spent the next hour or so in the bathroom.

Autumn and I spent time in our bathroom listening to the weather but the closest tornado to us ended up being about 6 miles from us.

A young Mother and her little baby lost their lives that day taking cover in their home and the Husband/Dad sustained severe injuries trying to keep them safe. It was a sad and sobering day.

Many many homes and buesinesses in our neighboring town were demolished or badly damaged and I'm sure many lives will never be the same. Tornadoes are bad news and I hate it when they come around, and living in tornado alley doesn't help much! Anyway, I'm thankful that we are safe and sound and our friends as well.

I must say I was glad to see Chandra pull in the driveway with Breanna and Rand in tow and I was equally glad to see Dan get home later that day. It took them about an hour to drive a 15-20 minute drive because of all of the trees/limbs down and other various destruction.

Cut to the very next day, I thought I was having a bad period, but later in evening, as the pain got worse, I started suspecting kidney stones. After the kids got to bed, it started getting really bad and around 1am Dan called Neal who came straight over (Thank you Neal!!!!!!!!!!) so Dan could take me to the E.R. They did a CT scan and found two stones 8mm and 9mm I think stuck somewhere and decided to admit me.

Lots of pain meds and sleep and pain later, (Monday evening) they did the procedure to remove them and put a stent in which I had removed 10 days later. It was a different kind than last time and took more to get it out but it was worth it because it was easier to deal with while in than the other one.

Anyway, I'm thankful to be done with that but have one small one still in the kidney :(

April 22nd marked the 4 year Anniversary of my Daddy leaving this world. In some ways it seems like yesterday and in some ways it seems like forever ago. I miss him but am glad that he's in a better place.

And at the first of this week, my Nephew Austin headed to basic training for the Army! I'm sure going to miss seeing him when we go to Alabama. I'm hoping he will get to come home at times when we can go down to visit. It seems like it wasn't long ago that my Sister told me she was expecting. I remember being so excited that I cried. That doesn't seem like 21 plus years ago, but it was.

I just hope his Brother Tyler doesn't get any wild ideas about signing up!!

And my baby boy will be registering for Kindergarten in a couple of weeks! We're hoping he'll get into the Kindergarten Readiness program - he's so small and needs some maturing time and I think it would be good for him to be among the oldest in his class through the years than the youngest.

So there you have it! :)

The Results are in! (I'm a wimp)

Our local Y has a program to help you keep your commitment to work out - "Key to Commitment" I believe the sign said. I decided to sign up and basically they assign you a key (similar to a flash drive) and you use it when you work out and the system keeps up with what you are doing and when you are doing it. Sounds fun!

Friday I went for orientation. They programmed my key with my name and height and showed me how to do one of the weight machines and the eliptical. I did about 5 minutes on the eliptical and a little bit on the weight machine. I played with the key thing and entered my weight. They were very busy so I wen to the track and walked instead of waiting in line for mahines.

Well today was the day that I got to take the "fitness test" Fifteen minutes on the treadmill was the first event today. I was sandwiched in between two runners. One I could peep over and see her heart rate, distance, etc. and she had run about 4 miles and her heart rate was lower than mine and I was walking slow!

Then I went to the machines. The trainer had me do three different machines and put a really high weight on there and I was to do as many sets of ten as I could before I could go no further. Ouch! I was really trying and did pretty well on the first machine but by the middle of the second one my muscles felt like rubber bands!!

At the end, he looked at the computer to see what it had decided for me and it actually designs a workout for me. And as it gets easier for me, it knows this and it will automatically increase the diffculty.

The determination? I'm a wimp! I was way below average in strength and on the treadmill!!! I was a little humiliated but proud of myself for even trying. I'm excited too and feel motivated to get going and keep going. I like the idea that I just put my key in and it tells me which machine to go to, I go to the machine and put the key in and it sets it up for me and tells me what to do and how many, etc.

I also like that I can view my progress in all areas whenever I want to - there are a million different things you can do with it and I can't wait to play with it!

I'll let you know how it goes!

Breanna turned 8! And other things!

I know, long time no hear from!

We had a good Christmas despite the fact that a stomach bug ran through our house rendering some of us miserable! I hate the sickies!

Breanna turned 8!!! Her Birthday was January 13th and I can hardly believe she's 8! She is growing so fast and I have a feeling she'll be passing me up in the height department within a couple of years!!

We are all extremely tired of winter. It has been the coldest winter that I can remember in a long time and frankly I'm sick of being shocked every five seconds! I'm about ready to take a fabric softener sheet to the grocery store and rub it all over the buggy to keep from getting shocked!

Autumn and Breanna are in the choir at school and have had a couple of performances that were really cute! Rand's class had a performance for Christmas that was too precious!

Rand isn't sure he wants to go to Kindergarten. He enjoys pre-school but is not too sure about changing the way things are.

Autumn and Breanna have started doing Girl Scouts this year. It's trying to be the death of me. I have been driven half crazy over a couple of things with it - trying to keep the events of each troop straight and the whole cookie sales thing. I'm not born organized and have to work really hard at it!

I know it's been a while but I'm drawing a blank for anything else to post! I'll look through pictures to see if there are some I should post.

If you've been checking in with me, thanks for being patient!!!

I thought this was beautiful:

My Sister sent this to me and I love it!

"In God We Still Trust"
by Diamond Rio

Light The Night

I'll be walking again in the "Light The Night Walk". It's coming up this Thursday night! It's nto too late to sponsor me in the walk!! Just click on the "Light the Night" button on the left!!

Thanks!!

Not My Proudest Moment!

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A Dream

Autumn was telling me about a dream that she had and Rand was listening: Autumn was swimming and Rand was in the water close to her. He was going under and she grabbed him and pulled him up, and each time he would go back under and she would pull him back up.

She said that we were there too but didn't come to help her when she called (how sad is that :( and then he slipped out of her hand.

When she finished telling the dream, Rand grabbed her arm and with concern and caring, he said "Autumn, I tried to hold onto you in your dream"!!!

Girl's Night Out

First Day Back Part 2!!

Rand has been asking and asking (despite not wanting to go back after Christmas break last year) "When do I go back to school?" He even finally gave in to potty training because I told him he couldn't start back to school until he was potty trained!

He got dressed this morning and was all excited to go until we got to the classroom! I stood him in front of his backpack for a picture and all he would do was frown! Well, it was more of a mad face than a frown!

I went in and asked the teacher if I could stay with him a little since we hadn't made it to registration, we were in Alabama visiting. She was happy to oblidge and even had some paperwork for me to fill out since we'd missed registration.

He sat in my lap and played with dinosaurs and then sat at my feet and played all the while keeping a hand on my leg so I couldn't get away!

He seemed to be relaxing so I asked if he would stand in front of the bookshelf for a picture - another mad look!

I was telling the teacher that he was VERY NEWLY potty trained. The day before was the first day he had actually worn his bigboy undies but I spared her that detail!

She took that as an opportunity to show Rand the potty and I chose to take that opportunity to high tail it to the nearest exit! Lol not quite but I must say I was excited that he went with her willingly and I did say "goodbye"!

When I picked him up, he was very happy and had a good day and wants to go back! I got a shot of him running to me and a couple of him SMILING by his backpack! Woo Hoo!

He told me he missed me and asked if I cried when I missed him! I told him that although I did miss him, I didn't cry because I knew he was having a good time!

Back to School!

The day started out well. I got up on time and got the girls ready and out the door all excited and ready to start their new year at school! Breanna wasn't too sure about being dropped off and picked up at a different spot than she's used to but I told her that they don't have enough room at the K-1 door so the 2-4 have to go out front where they ask us to and she agreed to be dropped off out front.

I snapped a few pictures as they were walking up to the school. They are definitely growing up fast!

Rand asked about why we were by ourselves and I told them that it was time for A & B to go back to school and that he would go back to school tomorrow. He said "I don't like to be by ourselves".

My did this change. (Not wanting to be by himself) He decided he wanted to be by himself to the point of almost making my heart stop. We had an uneventful morning at home and then I thought it would be nice for us to have lunch together. We went to Fazoli's and ate and it was great. He was doing some cute sitting down dancing to the beat of the music and we talked and laughed. Then it was time to go................. We stood up, I put his trash on the tray that already had my trash on it, turned around and he was gone. I looked all around and no Rand. I went towards the bathrooms and the guys who worked there came around the corner and I asked if they'd seen a little boy go by. One of them said "I just saw him run by, I think he went outside". I went outside and called, he didn't answer. I went back in and looked around again and looked in the bathroom. I went back outside and the boys who worked there were outside and had found Rand behind the van. I went around and Rand was looking up with a silly grin on his face.

I know it happens, I know it has happened to most every parent on the face of the planet, but it's hard not to say "Why didn't I..... What if........ I've prayed about it and I'm trying to just let it go and just try to learn from it, but praying that it never happens again.

I managed to function enough to go get him a haircut and get some groceries at Wal Mart afterwards. I know he feels badly about it, I don't know how many times he's said he's sorry and he knows now that if it happens again, he won't play video games for a week. I'm so grateful to God that he's safe but my heart is just broken that it even happened.

I'm leaving in a few minutes to get the girls. I hope they had a great first day back to school. We're going to stop by on the way home and get them some new sneakers and Breanna a haircut. Autumn is growing hers out and doesn't want it cut.

They had a great day at school! They love their teachers and are happy with their classmates although some of their best friends are not in their classes :( All in al it is good!

Oh yeah, the pictures with the teachers are first because they were taken on registration day. Last year I didn't get to go back to the class on the first day because they were making people sign in and the line was long, so this year I took pics on registration day and didn't attempt to go to the classroom the first full day :)

Granny Granny

This past Tuesday, Dan's Grandmother passed away. She was 97! She was cantankerous at times but well loved. She had lived through the Great Depression, worked in the cotton mill starting at age 11, lost a young child (Dan's Mom's baby sister) and lost her husband a long time ago (30 years or longer). I didn't see her smile much, except when talking to her grandkids, or the one time we went fishing. I was pregnant with Autumn so wow, it was 9-1/2 to 10 years ago. Granny loved fishing and used to go quite a bit, but with her failing health, and not being able to drive, she didn't get to go very often her last 15 years or so.

She told me a few years or more ago that she was ready to go. It makes it easier to let someone go when they've lived their life for so many years and they are ready to go.

My prayers are with my Mom in Law Betty who has been caring for Granny for the last 15 years. She will be lost with out her for a while, but hopefully will get back out living life soon. She used to be really active in her church and enjoys being with people and has gladly sacrificed all that to take care of her Mom.

So long for now Granny, we love you!

Pictures to follow

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rand is finally showing interest in potty training. I don't know how long back it was but there was a day or two where he actually sat down and did some business, but every time since that time we would ask him if he wanted to potty he would say "NO"!!!!!!!!!

And I couldn't even use school for a bribe because although he wanted to go to school from August through December, after the Christmas break, he wanted no part of it except on Easter Egg Hunt Day. And possibly the end of school party.

Well recently he's been asking if he's going back to school! I told him that while they cut him some slack last year, he has to be potty trained to go to 4yr pre-school.

FINALLY yesterday he did his business on the potty. Today he has done business twice on the potty! I'm so excited! I have to say that I had a good bit to clean up (aim is off - just learning) but it was worth it. I'm so proud of him!!!

And I have to say "I LOVE CHOCOLATE MILK"!!!!!!!!!!! That is the bribe that finally worked. M & M's wouldn't even work as an incentive! Or peeing on cheerios!!!! It took the promise of chocolate milk!

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace is a song that takes me back to my childhood, I remember singing it in church, and at funerals. It brings so many emotions. Memories of loved ones lost, especially my Daddy, and thoughts of just how much God loved me to send his son to die for me. I've heard many versions and have enjoyed most all of them, but recently I heard a version that has to be my favorite.

I first heard this on the radio and then recently the worship team at church sang it and I couldn't contain my tears, I just LOVE this song and I wanted to share it!



Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)
By Chris Tomlin

Hapy Birthday Autumn!

Today is Autumn's 9th Birthday! It's hard to believe it was 9 years ago that she was born! She is growing up so fast. She had a good day :) She opened her presents, had breakfast, went to church, we went to Logan's and ate and rode skooters. I think her favorite gift was a password journal! She and Breanna did some painting with some paint pens that Breanna gave her. Last Monday we had a party at Jacy's - it was a party for Mykenzie and for Autumn since their Birthdays are a week apart. They had a blast swimming, playing with water baloons, playing in the bouncer and eating ice cream sundaes! Here are some pictures:)

I remember

One year ago today was one of the most surreal days I've ever known. I was headed to Ellen's to take her some boxes for their upcoming move, and Chandra called. Someone had called to say that Jenna probably wouldn't answer if we called, she was groggy from meds. We talked about possibly watching the kids so Janna could go check on her. And wondering if we could go later to see her. I dropped off the boxes with Ellen, and then Chandra called while I was still in the parking lot and said that things were not good, and could I meet her over at Jenna's to watch the kids while she drove Janna to the hospital. I remember just feeling fear, and dread. I just remember telling Ellen to pray for Jenna, and I headed to Jenna's.

I remember the look on Janna's face when we got there and asking her "What do you know" I was afraid she'd gotten a call that Jenna was already gone, but she hadn't. Just that the family needed to get there.

I remember that waiting was hard, trying to keep my emotions from the kids. They were all just happy to play together. I talked to a friend who suggested I get the kids together to pray for Jenna. I didn't think I could handle that emotionally but she said "they will always remember, no matter how things turn out that they prayed for their Mom with their friends", so we did.

I remember the phone ringing and the caller ID saying Vanderbuilt. I remember Janna saying "She's gone". I remember saying "Oh Jesus" and just thinking "it can't be" but it was true.

I remember trying to stay sane in front of the kids and trying to not let them know anything was wrong. I called my Mom and she kept me going until Chandra pulled up. She was on the phone and I waited for a few minutes, had Autumn keep an eye on the kids and I went out to try to get a feel for who Chandra was talking to. It was Jacy. I asked if she had heard from Janna since she left (trying to figure out if she knew or not) and she said no. All I could come out with was the same thing that Janna had said "She's gone" We just all cried together, A group hug - two friends together and one on the phone.

I remember wondering how we would hold it together for the kids. I remember looking into their eyes, knowing what I knew and not crying.

I remember the look in Janna's eyes when she and Mark came in. I remember the disappointment from the kids not getting to share Happpy Meals with their friends, and knowing that the disappointment of their life was about to be revealed to them.

I remember driving home and fielding questions from Autumn who knew something was up.

I remember tears and questions and weak attempts at answers.

I remember not believing that Jenna was gone.

Here we are a year later. It seems like yesterday and it seems like years ago.

Tonight we will meet at one of Jenna's favorite restaurants La Siesta to celebrate her life and remember her death and I'm sure, talk about her influence on all of our lives.

We Love and miss you Jenna!

Blog Slacker

I wanted to do a small update of events since March was the last time I posted anything prior to this week. The kids had a great school year and were sad the school year was over. Well, all except for Rand, he was perfectly happy that it was over! So 4th grade is next for Autumn, 2nd for Breanna and 4yr pre-school for Rand!

Rand is now 4 years old as of June 1st!! What a big man and where has the time gone?

My Dad has been gone 3 years now and that's hard to believe too. We miss you Daddy!

I had already posted that Breanna turned 7 onJanuary 13th but never actually posted a picture, so at the bottom of this post I will add some pictures from the last few months or so.

Another family graduation, my neice Sarah graduated from High School, congratulations Sarah!

And now that the cat is officially out of the bag on her blog, my friend Chandra is pregnant!! Congratulations Harrison Family!!

Vacation Bible School is starting Monday and the girls are excited about it. Rand didn't want to go and I didn't force it.

Dan and I recently celebrated his Birthday and our 19th Wedding Anniversary! Speaking of time going by!!!

This picture of me and Dan wasn't actually taken on May 25th, it was taken in April at a friend's wedding reception but I thought it was fitting to post as an Anniversary picture!:



Rand poses by his school stuff on his last day of 3 year old pre-school:





Autumn, Breanna and Autumn's friend Courtney on the last day of school!:



Breanna's 7th Birthday in January:



Rand turns 4!:

Happy Birthday Jenna!

Happy Birthday Jenna! We are missing you. Today Chandra and Jacy and I and our kiddos went to lunch at Toots in your honor. Chandra ordered some fried pickles especially for you. I don't like them but I ate some for you! I just wanted you to know that you are in our hearts and minds and we'll always think of you.

I don't have a Birthday picture of you from last year so I will post one from 2006. Miss and love you!

Precious Prayers

Ashlee and Kaitlin spent the day with us today. We had a good day of fun with Chandra, Ryan and Makenna. We went to McDonald's for lunch where it was entirely too chaotic!

It's funny how your impressions change with the growth of your children. When mine were very young, anyone bigger than them was just too big to be in the play tubes. Now than mine are bigger, I'm sure other parents think mine are too big but I look at the ones that are a foot taller than mine and think "they are too big to be in there"!!! Meanwhile, mine are a foot taller than some in there. Oh well. It will be a sad day when they are too old for it!

We went to the Library park and they played their hearts out and then we came back to our house and they played even more.

Tonight, they watched a movie after dinner and got ready for bed.

We have a nightly routine of songs and prayers and a poem and when Ashlee and Kaitlin are here, they jump right in and take part. Tonight Ashlee's message to God was "I Love You, Please take good care of my Mommy". Kaitlin's message was "I Love You, Please take good care of my Mommy and help her not to die again". I told Kaity that you can't die in heaven and that her Mommy wouldn't die again".

Nothing can rip your heart out quite like a precious prayer of a child for the Mommy that they miss who is in Heaven. This got Ashlee and Kaitlin remembering things about the day Jenna died and about the funeral. They amaze me in that they were fine when talking and I was fighting back the tears.

Then Autumn and Breanna started missing Paw Paw (my Dad) and we talked about him for a while and how he used to play with them. I must not have been paying much attention to Rand because he touched my face and pointed to his face and he had a big sad face. I asked if he was sad too and he nodded.

I'm counting my blessings tonight. My brother in law Maurice just recently found out he had some issues with his heart and had a procedure done today for a blockage in an artery. I'm grateful that he did well and is doing well. I think about Jenna and how I miss her and all who knew and loved her miss her, I think about my kids and my husband and my family and I read Jacy's blog before posting tonight and she had a beautiful post about John 3:16 which got me thinking and so I'll finish my post by saying:

Thank you God for all of the many blessings you have given me. Family, friends, and for your One and only Son who you freely gave to live on earth and die on the cross for and becuase of my sins.